A Temple City Park Wedding, in the Gazebo!

 Processional  Greeting Dearly Beloved, we are gathered here today in the presence of these witnesses, to join J... and D... in matrimony, which is commended to be honorable among all men; and therefore – is not by any – to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly – but reverently, discreetly, advisedly and solemnly. Into this estate these two persons present now come to be joined. If any person can show lawful reason why they may not be joined together – let them speak now or forever hold their peace.  Giving of the Bride Who brings D... here today and gives blessing to this marriage? Michael“I do.” Please all be seated.  Opening message It is customary to offer the couple instruction on the nature of marriage: Never marry but for Love William Penn (1644-1718) Never marry but for love; but see that thou lovest what is lovely. He that minds a body and not a soul has not the better part of that relationship, and will consequently lack the noblest comfort of a married life. Between a man and his wife nothing ought to rule but love. As love ought to bring them together, so it is the best way to keep them well together. A husband and wife that love one another show their children that they should do so too. Others visibly lose their authority in their families by their contempt of one another, and teach their children to be unnatural by their own examples. Let not enjoyment lessen, but augment, affection ; it being the basest of passions to like when we have not, what we slight when we possess. Here it is we ought to search out our pleasure, where the field is large and full of variety, and of an enduring nature; sickness, poverty or disgrace being not able to shake it because it is not under the moving influences of worldly contingencies. Nothing can be more entire and without reserve; nothing more zealous, affectionate and sincere; nothing more contented than such a couple, nor greater temporal felicity than to be one of them.  Exchange of Vows J..., please take D... hand and repeat after me: I, J..., take you, D..., to be my wife, my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live. D..., please repeat after me: I, D..., take you, J..., to be my husband, my constant friend, my faithful partner and my love from this day forward. In the presence of God, our family and friends, I offer you my solemn vow to be your faithful partner in sickness and in health, in good times and in bad, and in joy as well as in sorrow. I promise to love you unconditionally, to support you in your goals, to honor and respect you, to laugh with you and cry with you, and to cherish you for as long as we both shall live.  Unity Candle J... and D... have chosen to perform a unity candle ceremony. Their Daughter will participate by lighting the couples individual candles to symbolize that she too, is a member of the family that is being joined here together. J... and D..., the two lighted candles symbolize your separate lives, your separate families and your separate sets of friends. I ask that you each take one candle and that together you light the center candle. The individual candles represent your individual lives before today. Lighting the center candle represents that your two lives are now joined to one light, and represents the joining of your two families and sets of friends to one. D... and J... will now extinguish their own candles, thus letting the center candle symbolize the union of their lives. As one light cannot be divided, neither will their lives be divided.  Exchange of Rings Do you have rings to exchange? J..., repeat after me: With this ring, I thee wed, and with it, I bestow upon thee all the treasures of my mind, heart, and hands. D... Repeat after me: With this ring, I thee wed, and with it, I bestow upon thee all the treasures of my mind, heart, and hands.  Closing Prayer Let us pray together…As this community is brought to understand God each in his own heart, and to ask for His blessings and to give thanks in His name, we ask for His love to include and support love within this marriage, and to warm them when they grow cold, and to strengthen them when they weaken, and to nourish them when they hunger. And we give thanks that they have found each other and found love in each other and have promised to preserve that love before us all.” AMEN  Declaration of Marriage By the power vested in me by the State of California, I pronounce you to be husband and wife. Please kiss your Bride.  Introduction It is with pleasure and pride I introduce Mr. And Mrs. J....

Supreme Court Decision on DOMA and Prop 8

Finally! After months of waiting and years of fighting, the court upheld the decision to strike down prop 8. This should effectively allow genderless or same-sex weddings to return to California. And the law that allows the government to tax differently, and otherwise discriminate between different kinds of marriage is out. Imagine if the government could decide which people you could marry! It always has, and it's been in my lifetime that it would not allow whites to marry non-whites and other absurd limitations. The funny thing in my humble opinion is the lies the prop 8 proponents told to trick voters into passing prop 8, like that gay history would be required in school. I never heard the idea until they brought it up. Sounds great, California Dept of Education will be implementing it anyway! And that churches would lose their tax exempt status if they refused to marry same sex couples! Thats as silly as saying the catholic church would lose it's status if they refused to marry protestants. What a load. I do hope that voters realize that the lies were told by liars, because believe this, they are still coming for you! They want to take away your choices and your control of your body- like what kind of birth control you use. Not just to stop pregnancy but to treat infertility. They are still coming for you!

As some of my readers may know, I've been a life long comic book fan. I like nothing more than going to a superhero movie like Avengers and recounting the history of every character on screen. It is less amusing for those sitting next to me, I'm sure. And if you've read my posts, you know I support same sex marriage. Well finally the two have overlapped! In June, the Canadian X-man Northstar will be marrying his long-term, same-sex, non-mutant, partner Kyle. Let's hope Mitt Romney doesn't find out! Thank you Marvel comics for the gesture of inclusion that might even save a few lives.

I was asked to officiate at the baptism and christening of the nephews of a bride I married earlier this year. Two little infant boys and one energetic preschooler. It was the first baptism I've performed as clergy. The venue was the south coast botanical gardens on crenshaw blvd. Although I did flub a line or two, the family seemed pretty pleased. My practice has really expanded in the past year, with Aaron's memorial a year and a week ago, five weddings this year and now this.
I began with talking about the tradition of Mikvah, ritual bathing and the concept of immersion in a life of the spirit. Ended with the Lord's Prayer. Hope to do more of these, keep me in mind for your non-denominational events!

We meet here today to honor and pay tribute to the life of Aaron Song, and to express our love and admiration for him.
Also to try to bring some comfort to those of his family and friends who are here and have been deeply hurt by his sudden death.
Aaron is survived by his sister’s Lisa and Cheryl, and his brother Jason. He will be dearly missed by his partner David.
You are all very welcome, my name is Danny Redmond, and it's a great privilege and honor for me to be here this afternoon to officiate at the funeral of such a well liked and respected gentleman.

Aaron wasn't a particularly religious person, so it's befitting that his funeral ceremony should reflect what he was, ...... a gentle, .....kind, ......loving person; devoted to his family and friends.
Its only natural that we should be sad today, because in a practical sense, Aaron is no longer a part of our lives, "we must die, we know" said a character in Shakespeare, " tis but the time and drawing days out that men stand upon", and so we all come to ponder the life and death of a truly wonderful man; with confused and mixed feelings.
For we have a powerful sense of loss; combined with a recognition that; if death must come, its as well that its not unduly prolonged, we don't want to see someone we love suffer, so this sorrow; and our sense of the fitness of things; don't sit easily together, one purpose of our proceedings here today; is in some way to try to reconcile those feelings.
Today is also a day for memories, today will be remembered for many reasons, but mainly I hope it will be remembered by you all; as a very special day, a special day in which you shared some time with others; in order to pay your last respects; and to say both mentally and physically; a sad and fond farewell to a lovely man/ , ....a man/ whom we were all so very privileged to have known.
Maya Angelou recently wrote;
When I think of death, and of late the idea has come with alarming frequency, I seem at peace with the idea that a day will dawn when I will no longer be among those living in this valley of strange humors.
I can accept the idea of my own demise, but I am unable to accept the death of anyone else. I find it impossible to let a friend or relative go into that country of no return. Disbelief becomes my close companion, and anger often follows in its wake. I answer the heroic question 'Death, where is thy sting?' with ' it is here in my heart and mind and memories.'
We have come together from different places, and we are all at different stages on our journey through life.
Our paths are varied and we look at life in different ways.
But there is one thing we all have in common, at one point or another, and to some degree or other, our lives have touched the life of Aaron.
We are here this afternoon in order to pay our last respects and bid a sad but fond farewell to Aaron, we are here also, so that in our own way we can celebrate, honor and pay tribute to his life, and in doing so we express our sincere love and admiration for him .
And so this afternoon we've put aside our usual daily activities for a while, and gathered here to give expression to the thoughts and feelings that well up in us at this time of loss.
And also because in one-way or another, Aaron's death affects us all.
I know that today is a sad day, but I hope at the end of this farewell ceremony for Aaron, that you will feel glad that took the opportunity to do some of your grieving in the presence of others who have known and loved him.
Our ceremony for Aaron will not be religious as that would be against his wishes and out of keeping with his character, I know there may be those among you who for whom religious faith is a central part of life, and who are more familiar with a different form of service, but I hope we can agree that the human values we all share are of far more lasting importance than those matters that may divide us in this respect.
I never had the privilege of knowing Aaron, but I have spent some time with his sister over the last few years, however I'm not going to use that as a platform to talk to you about Aaron.
I'm going to leave that to the people who really knew him , the people who really counted in his life, you, his family and his friends, so despite the obvious difficulty of the situation,

Mr so&so is now going to deliver the eulogy.
And so we meet then, to say goodbye, and to reflect in a simple, private way on Aaron's life,..........so lets now spend a few moments in silence, and you can each remember Aaron in your own special way, and if you do have a religious belief, you might like to use this time for your own private prayer.
The death of someone we dearly love, someone we have shared the best part of our lives with, can sometimes seem like too much to bear, the pain of grief and the sense of loss is immense and often overwhelming.
Aaron had a good and varied life, in the short time we have here today, we can barely scratch the surface, but I hope when you leave here this morning/afternoon that you will do so with a real sense of having shared in something special, for a very special and unique gentleman.
There is life and there is death. They are not opposites. They are complimentary. One gives rise to the other. Without one, the other does not exist. There are no opposites. Opposites are illusions.
No hero without a villain.
No health without disease.
No savior without devil.
No day without night.
The last breath contains within it the first breath.
The first holds the seed of the last.
They are the same. It's a matter of expression.
The first act of life is inhalation. The baby cries and everyone laughs.
The final act of life is exhalation. A woman closes her eyes and everyone cries.
People often cry.
Now is but a moment in time, I dedicate the next few moments to every single precious memory associated with Aaron.
To everything there is a season, and a time to every purpose on earth.
A time to be born and a time to die.
Before we continue, I wonder if there is anyone else here this afternoon who might like to say a few words.
The separateness, the uniqueness of each human life is the basis of our grief in bereavement.
Look through the whole world and there is no one like Aaron, but he still lives on in your memories, and though no longer a visible part of your lives, he will always remain a member of your family and of your circle, through the influence he has had on you and the special part he played in your lives.
Plato in his Symposia wrote about how people are fragmented, and seek their other half in order to become a whole person. I would never suggest that Aaron was not, on his own, whole, yet I know that he wished for “someone to love” in the words of a song posted on his blog. He had someone to love, and I want to try to assure his other half that although there will always be something you will miss, that you can become whole again. The pain becomes manageable. I will not insult you by trying to tell you that one day you will forget. I know as well as you that you will not. But, at least, in time you will not remember as fiercely as you do now.

Hold on to Aaron in your thoughts: there is no need to part from him too hastily, talk about him often, repeat the words and sayings he used, and the jokes he made, and enjoy your memories of him ; just as we have; here today.
Love doesn't die, ever. Not real love. So you don't have to say: "I loved Aaron" you can still say: "I love Aaron"
It's at such times; when we are at our lowest ebb that we need the bosom of our friends and family, we help and support each other, and in time, the veil of mist and numbness gradually disappears, we see a light at the end of the tunnel, we step out, and we look back, thankful that despite their own grief and sorrow, we had someone to lean on; when our own strength failed us.
The catastrophe of death cannot be altered, but it can be transformed by love.
We can share our grief, and I hope you will not feel ashamed or embarrassed to weep openly if this is a help.
I once read " that in every adversity there is the seed of an equal or greater benefit", I have always believed that statement, Aaron was able to show us all this principle in his media life. He left the TV Show Hells Kitchen under the worst possible circumstances, yet he was known to say how much work, pleasure and attention he got from having been on the show, and was a favorite recurring cast member for seasons that followed. His irrepressible personality, sense of humor and pride in his culture was what sustained him.
When someone is taken from us, as Aaron was, in the prime of their life, understandably we are not as comfortable with words and phrases that point towards a celebration of their life.
Immense anger, deep hurt, inconsolable grief, rage, disbelief, these are just a few of the words and feelings that are associated with thoughts of Aaron. But hidden in all the pain and sorrow that we feel, There is undeniably something to celebrate.
We can celebrate the fact that we have known Aaron, though he is no longer with us we can celebrate that we were privileged and honored to have known him.
The catastrophe of death cannot be altered, but it can be transformed by love.
We are here to share our grief, so I hope you will not feel ashamed or embarrassed to weep openly if this is a help.
And perhaps you will feel glad that you took the opportunity to do some of your grieving in the presence of others who have known and loved Aaron. That he was a part of your lives
Death is a very personal matter for those who know it in someone close to them, but we are all concerned, directly or indirectly, with the death of any individual, because we are all members of one human community.
There is a mounting body of information about the experiences dying people have. There is one body of evidence that describes how a dying patient may perceive and speak with loved ones who have already passed over. It would make sense, that if we knew in advance we would be reunited with someone we had lost, we would go to meet them. We don't know for sure, but we hope that when we die we are reunited with our loved ones who have gone before us.

Lets remind ourselves that the dead reside not in the grave or an urn but in the hearts and minds of the living and also that the best of all answers to death is the whole-hearted and continuing affirmation of life.
I would like to read that great message of hope and comfort which was written by Henry Scott Holland for his wife just before he died.
Death is nothing at all,
I have only slipped away into the next room.
Whatever we were to each other, we still are.
Please, call me by my old familiar name.
Speak of me in the same easy way you always did.
Laugh, as we always laughed, at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Think of me and smile.
Let my name be the household name it always was,
Spoken without the shadow of a ghost in it.
Life means all it ever meant.
It is the same as it ever was.
Death is inevitable, so why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight?
I am but waiting for you, - for an interval very near.
Nothing is past or lost.
One brief moment and all will be as it was before,
Only better and happier.
Together forever. All is well.
Please stand for the committal.







As part of the words of committal, I would like to read a short poem by Leo Marks,
The life that I have,
Is all that I have,
And the life that I have is yours.
The love that I have,
Of the life that I have,
Is yours and yours and yours.
A sleep I shall have,
A rest I shall have,
Yet death will be but a pause.
For the peace of my years
In the long green grass,
Will be yours and yours and yours.
Aaron was born into the restaurant business. Raised in South Central Los Angeles he began cooking at a very young age. Attending Coliseum Street Elementary School he was influenced firstly by the women hired to prepare meals for the family while Rose was starting her fledgling business many miles away. As he entered Audubon Jr. High he began to work at the family restaurant first washing dishes and bussing tables, but soon was cooking dishes for patrons. Upon entering high school the Song family moved to Rancho Palos Verdes, California to be closer to the family restaurant. Aaron has 3 siblings; brother Jason a research scientist at UCLA hospital. Sisters Cheryl who is a dancer and actress and Lisa a clinical psychologist working for Los Angeles County.
Aaron graduated Rolling Hills High School and entered Columbia University majoring in economics after 2 years and as a result of his mothers illness he returned home to California. He enrolled at Loyola Marymount University and graduated with a degree in business administration continuously working at the family restaurant. After graduation he began working for the Linear Corporation first assignment Waupaca WI. as an account manager. After six long months he resigned and returned home to manage the family restaurant. Serving as cook, bartender and waiter he discovered what he wanted. The excitement of a restaurant and the interaction of a bar were too addictive. As Rose’s health declined he assumed management of the family restaurant. Made changes bringing a traditional Chinese restaurant into a fun innovative eatery. Early influences were Wolfgang Puck, Sam Choi and his teacher Roy Yamaguchi. Setting out on his own with his father Louis at the helm of the restaurant Aaron began to work at other restaurants he was inspired by, always learning and perfecting his craft.
In 1987 Aaron returned and remodeled the Tea House Restaurant establishing a new style of Asian food. Bringing different Asian cuisines to people who were unfamiliar with things that weren’t Japanese or Chinese. Some of his dishes were trend setting Cambodian Carpaccio, Vietnamese Spring Rolls, Duck Lettuce Wraps and Ahi Tostadas were just a few signature dishes.
In 1990 he opened China Syndrome in Manhattan Beach, California fusing his Pan Asian cuisine with jazz music. And in 1992 he opened Joey Tai’s in Redondo Beach, bring Thai food to the beach culture both instant success.
In 2001 Aaron relocated the family business to a larger venue seating 300 and hosting a stage and dance floor. Bringing innovative food and entertainment to a very conservative community.
Aaron showed his passion in his food, always cutting edge, but always considerate of his clients. His creativity was seen in his dishes as well as his passions in life music, sports, and always insuring everyone a great experience.
Aaron enjoyed great food, great service, blues music, surfing, racquetball, UCLA and Laker basketball.

Processional
(Cracklin’ Rosie- Neil Diamond)

Welcome
On behalf of Ron and Kelly, welcome.

Giving of Bride
Who brings Kelly here today, and gives their blessing to this union?

Seating
(Skip the “If there is any reason why these two should not be joined…”)

Charge – “we are at this wonderful winery today to see Ron and Kelly exchange vows and join their lives together. Wine was so important in the ancient world that it deserved it’s own god. The wine is more than an accent; it is a theme and symbol of the relationship we are here to celebrate. Wine isn’t simply bottled, it is made.
First the necessary elements must be brought together. Soil and sunlight, moisture and seed. Then seasons of hard work must be applied. The vine must be nurtured and shaped. The fruit has to be harvested and the juice taken. It has to be contained and aged until it is ready. Only then can the most auspicious blend be created.
Marriage is the much the same process. Choices must be made. Blending of two personalities requires work and talent. When all the elements combine, the result transcends the combination. Two lives become one.
This couple will now take this wine and share it, to demonstrate that their two lives have reached the stage where they can be shared, and they transcend two individuals to become… a marriage.

I hand a glass of wine to the groom, he sips and hands it to the bride. She sips and returns the glass to me.


Rose ceremony (A red rose symbolizes romantic love, a white rose may symbolize familial love. Kelly & Ron will give these roses to their family to thank them, and show that they are not leaving their families behind, but joining them together in a greater circle of love.

Vows
Do you have vows to exchange?

Rings
Do you have gifts to exchange?

I bless these rings and name their significance to be the unending circle of respect, affection and support which marriage embodies.”

With this ring, I thee wed…

Sand( to include the kids- each of the members of this new family will pour sand from his own vessel, into the larger vessel to make a permanent keepsake from the most transient. The different patterns will remind them that each person has a time to stand out, and each has time to support the others, that together, they combine to create beauty. / Candle (yada yada light the candle)/ Handfasting ( With your vows and your rings you have bound yourself to your partner. To signify this, I will bind your hands together with this tie, so that you will always remember this day, and this, the tie that binds.)

Recessional
(Red Red Wine- UB40)

Well Congratulations and Best Wishes in Vermont!
Starting today, same sex couples have the right to marry there as well as Massachusetts, Connecticut and Iowa. New Hampshire will go in 2010.
Too bad we're so behind times here in Sunny California. Maybe Obama will rescind DOMA and the phrase "Equal Rights" will apply to US Citizens in their own country.