Ray & Jeff
August 8, 2008

On behalf of Jeff and Ray, welcome and thank you for being here.

By your presence, you celebrate with them the love they have discovered in each other and you support their decision to commit themselves to one another for the rest of their lives. The greatest happiness of life is the conviction that we are loved, loved for ourselves. If there is anything better than being loved, it is loving.

As many of you know, Jeff and Ray come to this marriage with history. They come with the advantage of 18 years of partnership.

This is the advantage of a love that grows over time, Of love that builds on recognition, and inclusion, on work, and on playfulness.
They have built intimacy on a foundation of knowledge and experience in addition to hope, and expectation.

Ray and Jeff share affection based on familiarity and passion discovered not in the superficial features we present in the beginning of relationships, but in the deep aspects of character we disclose over years of trust, of caring and of accepting what is found in the other.

This is a partnership of proven stability in a public and open relationship in business, politics and social activism.

And, now they ask you all to witness as their two lives become one in a new way.

Do you, the families and friends of Jeff and Ray give them your blessing and support this day, wishing them a wonderful life together? (Answer: "We do")

Jeff, do you wish to marry Ray here today?
Ray, Do you wish to marry Jeff here today?

It is the custom at this time to instruct the couple on the nature of marriage. I would like to read a quote from Massachusetts Supreme Court Chief Justice Margaret H. Marshall
Marriage is a vital social institution. The exclusive commitment of two individuals to each other nurtures love and mutual support; it brings stability to our society. For those who choose to marry, and for their children, marriage provides an abundance of legal, financial, and social benefits. In return it imposes weighty legal, financial, and social obligations....Without question, marriage enhances the "welfare of the community." It is a "social institution of the highest importance." ... Marriage also bestows enormous private and social advantages on those who choose to marry. Marriage is at once a deeply personal commitment to another human being and a highly public celebration of the ideals of mutuality, companionship, intimacy, fidelity, and family.... Because it fulfils yearnings for security, safe haven, and connection that express our common humanity, marriage is an esteemed institution, and the decision whether and whom to marry is among life's momentous acts of self-definition.

We are at a unique point in history, when any couple who wish to publicly declare their love may marry in the eyes of this state. This ceremony is not only a celebration of the life long love between these two men, but also a celebration of freedom for everyone, freedom to live their life freely, honestly and openly in a diverse society.

I ask the partners to share their vows: WE WILL READ THEM

Will you exchange rings?
(each hands me the ring for his partner, or an attendant hands both)

On behalf of the friends and families of Ray and Jeff, I bless these rings and name their significance to be the unending circle of affection, respect and support which marriage embodies.

Jeff: Place the ring on your partners finger and repeat, with this ring I thee wed.

Ray: Place the ring on your partners finger and repeat, with this ring I thee wed.


The Bargain" by Sir Philip Sidney'
My true love hath my heart, and I have his, By just exchange one for another given: I hold his dear, and mine he cannot miss, There never was a better bargain driven: My true love hath my heart, and I have his. His heart in me keeps him and me in one, My heart in him his thoughts and senses guides: He loves my heart, for once it was his own, I cherish his because in me it bides: My true love hath my heart, and I have his.


As you have given your vows, your rings and your hearts to each other here today, by the power vested in me by the State of California, I am pleased to pronounce you legally married, for so long as you both shall live.

A new thing cannot be created without an end to that which preexisted. Growth and transformation begin with destruction. Many traditions observe this aspect of nature. In the Jewish tradition the shattering of a glass has been attributed to the destruction of the temple, or as a warning on the fragility of relationships, or even to the scaring away of negative spirits. Ray and Jeff will break glasses tonight for all these reasons as well as to note that they are breaking new ground by this very occasion. When their glasses break, please join me in wishing them luck with the Hebrew phrase Mazel Tov!

Blessing the wine
Breaking the glasses

In a moment I am going to ask you to kiss your partner. You have kissed thousands of times, but this kiss will be different. This kiss is your first married kiss. It is a promise to your partner. A promise to work everyday to preserve the love you have offered and accepted here today. Please kiss your partner.

It is with pleasure and pride that I now introduce, (The married couple,